Our Sexuality is a Test

from MuslimWritings

Do men think that they will be left alone on saying,
“We believe.”, and that they will not be tested?
(Quran 29:2)

Allah uses every aspect of our lives to test us–even down to the innate biological urges He instilled in us.  We must eat to live, but what we eat may be halal or haram.  We must drink to live, and again we must choose between halal and haram.  With our sexual urges, we must also choose between halal and haram.

Halal and haram.  Right and wrong.  Good and evil.  Those who submit to their Lord and those who do not submit.   Despite all of the unfathomable complexity of the universe, Allah has made our role in it easy and simple for us to understand.  At the same time, the free will that Allah allows us and the Mercy He extends to us make possible the seemingly infinite range of human behaviors and choices.
So when it comes to the myriad possibilities of human sexual activity, Allah helps us keep it simple–sex is only permissible between husband and wife.  That’s it.  Oh, how that simple rule tests us.  How many excuses, rationalizations and justifications we can give for breaking it.

But what if our parents say we’re too young or not suited to each other?  No.  What if I’m trapped in a loveless marriage? No.  What if I am attracted to a close family member such as a brother or a daughter?  No.  What if I’ve always only been attracted to my own gender?  No.  What if I’m trapped in the body of the opposite gender? No.  What if I’ve just met my soul mate, but we’re both already married to other people? No.  What if I was molested or abused and don’t want to have anything to do with  the opposite sex? No.  What if I have an overwhelming desire for children? No.  Animals? No.  But what if Allah made me this way?  No.    But what if  I’m a good person? No.  But what if I’m doing everything else right?  No.

All of us are tested in our sexuality.  As in all other aspects of life, the magnitude of the test is greater for some than it is for others.  Only Allah know why He chooses some of us for tests that batter us to our core–war, torture, abuse, rape, famine, slavery, concentration camps, refugee camps, internment camps.  Only Allah knows why he makes some of us deaf, blind, mute, crippled, insane, deformed or diseased.

Yet there it is.  Our responsibility for our sexuality is not a lifestyle choice, not a genetic predisposition, a reasonable response to misery or the inevitable outgrowth of love.  Our sexuality is a moral issue–halal and haram.  Good and evil.  Those who submit to the Will of the Creator, and those who do not submit.  Our sexuality–everyone’s sexuality–is a test.

You will certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and you will certainly Hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if you persevere patiently, and guard against evil, then that will be a determining factor in all affairs. (Quran 3:186)