The Lofty position of Mothers

The position of my mother remained unknown to me, until I contemplate what my Lord revealed through His prophet –

That I worship none but Him and be kind to my parents and say not a word of contempt in the least bit (uff) and obey in all their orders unless it’s something which Allah has forbidden.

And address them in honor and abstain from what they forbid and provide them, serve them and raise not voice in front of them nor fix glance upon them or call them by their names.

And be patient with them and out of kindness lower to them the wings of humility and say – My Lord! Bestow on them your mercy as they cherished me in childhood.

One asked, who among people is the most deserving of my fine treatment? To which the Prophet (peace be upon him) answered – Your mother, your mother, your mother.

Ibn Umar was once doing tawaaf (circumbulating) around the Kaaba and he saw a man carrying his elderly mother on his back while doing tawaaf. When the man saw ibn Umar, he rushed up to him, and he said, “Oh ibn Umar, this lady on my back is my mother. She had a desire to go do Hajj. And I live in such and such far away province, and could not afford an animal for her to mount on. So I am carried her all the way on my back. Oh ibn Umar, have I done my duty as a son and recompensed her the way that she deserves?”

Ibn Umar responded: “You have done nothing in return. But you have done good, and Allah will reward you.”

The man was surprised and said, “Oh ibn Umar, I have traveled from the furthest lands, carrying my mother on my back – and you say I have done nothing?”

Ibn Umar said: “You have done nothing because: when she sacrificed everything for you; when she did everything that she did for you – she gave up her time, her pleasures, her health – she gave up everything she had to raise you as you are – she did it out of a pure love and joy – wanting to see you flourish, waiting so you grow up and you live a full healthy life – she did it for your life – and now that you do it in return, you are waiting for her death – doing it as a pity – doing as an equivalent, doing it in return for the favors – you’re not doing it to see her flourish and live. You’re doing it as a sense of guilt, trying to pay back what she’s done, and waiting for her death, so she is literally off your back.”

And how true, how profound is the statement of ibn Umar!

When the child is raised by the parents, when the mother and father give everything that they have: their money, and their health, their wealth, their beings, everything. When they give to this child, what is the motivation of the parent? The parent wants to see this child flourish and live! They will literally give their lives for this child to live.

But when the child becomes old, and the child is entrusted to take care of his or her parents, the same emotions are not felt. The same patience is not there, the same love and tenderness, completely absent. And for this one reason, ibn Umar said: “ you cannot compare the two. ”

She is the one who made her womb a vessel for me and brought forth me with hardship and nourished me from her breast and took care of me when I was a child. And stayed up all night and bore it with patience. I have no option but to love her.

Paradise lies at the feet of your mother. And when Ibn Muawiyah’s mother died, he was asked, “Why do you cry?” He said, “I used to have two gates open to Jannah, now one of them is closed.”


Contribution to the article: Ehtesham Akhter


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